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Dear Cleanse, July 17, 2011

Posted by That girl in 2011.
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You’re stupid and I hate you.
I’ve never been more overfull in my life. It’s rather disgusting, if you want my opinion.

Who drinks that much?!

xx,
Me

Zombies, Chuck, comics and all out dork-revelry in 4 days.

Happy Birthday, America July 4, 2011

Posted by That girl in 2011.
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We had cake in your honor.

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Psst. Wanna see my buns? July 1, 2011

Posted by That girl in 2011.
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I feel like I should be in an alleyway, wearing a trench coat.
No, you can’t see those buns, but you might be interested in my brioche-style buns!

I’ll admit that I have no idea what a brioche-style bun actually should taste like, but these are pretty yummy. I was reading an article about overrated places to eat in France (as if I were going there and needed to know what to avoid. Psh.), and this one place had some fancy “brioche-style buns” for breakfast. So I hopped onto the world wide web and found myself a recipe. Then I veganized it. Bam! That’s how we do that, yo.

And since I know this is what you’re waiting for, here are my buns:
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I should be ashamed. But I’m not.

Just a warning: these things seem to take forever to make. Damn you, rising time!

Light Brioche Buns
adapted from New York Times site

1 cup warm water (appx 105 degrees)
2 tsp active dry yeast
2 1/2 Tbs sugar
2 tsp EnerG egg replacer
2 1/2 Tbs water
3 cups bread flour
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp salt
2 1/2 Tbs room temperature Earth Balance
1 Tbs almond milk
Sesame seeds (optional)

1. In a small glass bowl, combine 1 cup warm water, yeast and sugar. Let stand until foamy, about 5 minutes. (My mix didn’t get very foamy, but it did have bubbles on top)

2. In a smaller bowl, mix 2 1/2 Tbs water with 1 1/2 tsp EnerG egg replacer and set aside.

3. In a large bowl, whisk flours and salt together. Add Earth Balance and squish into the flour with your hands to make it crumbly. Using a stiff spatula or a wooden spoon, add yeast mixture and egg replacer mixture, and gently stir, scraping the sides of the bowl until a dough forms.
Turn the dough onto an unfloured surface and knead for about 8 minutes. The original recipe said to knead by “scooping dough up, slapping it on counter and turning it, until smooth and elastic.” I have no idea what that means so I kind of stretched the dough, then picked it up and dropped it onto the counter. It seemed to work.

4. Form a ball with the dough and put it back into the bowl. Cover with plastic wrap (which I don’t have) or a slightly damp towel and put it into a warm place to rise and double. This takes 1-2 hours, so get a book.

5. Slap some parchment onto a baking sheet and divide the dough into 8 equal pieces. Gently roll the pieces into balls (this is the shape your buns will stay, so make ‘em pretty!). Put them on the sheet about 2 inches apart. Place a clean towel over them and put the baking sheet in a warm place for another 1-2 hours. (This is when you dance to KNOTBSB in the kitchen.)

6. Make sure the rack is in the center of your oven. Put a shallow pan of water on the lowest rack (I used my glass brownie pan) and preheat oven to 400 degrees. Mix remaining egg replacer (1/2 tsp) with milk and brush it gently on your buns. If using, sprinkle your sesame seeds on now. (I really wanted to add a little salt, too, but decided not to. I bet it’d be delicious.)
Bake for 15 minutes, turning the buns once, until the tops are lightly golden blonde. When they’re done, move to a rack to cool.

Now, see my buns in action:
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Go, buns, go!

Now that I’ve written this, I’m going to check it 300 times to make sure I didn’t mess something up. I don’t want anyone wasting ingredients. That would be lame-O.

This is serious June 23, 2011

Posted by That girl in 2011, Review.
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So let’s get down to brass tacks. Like the titles says, this is serious.
Today we’re talking milkshakes. Thick, creamy, dreamy milkshakes.

I can’t tell you the last time I had a milkshake. Being vegan, that’s one of the things I figured I’d kiss goodbye, and I was cool with that. Not to mention that I’ve been lactose intolerant for yeeeears, which meant no milk long before I became vegan.

So let’s talk about this beacon of light I saw while we were driving home from Rochester. So maybe it wasn’t quite like that, but it was pretty close. I randomly checked the ol’ phone to see what was vegan near us and ended up at Strong Hearts Cafe. It’s totally worth a drive to Syracuse.

I wasn’t crazy about the sandwich I picked (T.L.T. for the record); it was just too oily or something. The bf was in love with the reuben that he got (which was yummy, but still too greasy for me). He’s got pictures on his phone, but he’s not here to ask. Oopsie.

To heck with this sandwich talk, this place has bomb-ass milkshakes. (No, I’ve never said bomb-ass, but this desperate times and all…)
Because of the sandwich, I almost didn’t order the relatively expensive ($5) milkshake, but I’m so glad I did. Oh em gee.
I chose the Sacco & Vanzetti, a delicious and brilliant vanilla/espresso delight. Strong Hearts names these guys after their heroes, which accounts for my having to ask for a pair of alleged murderous archachists.

Let’s just say that this was pretty much the best drink to make it into my mouth via straw in a long time. I nursed that thing for a few hours, relishing every last bit and to be honest, hating it when the bf shared with me. (Rude! Get your own, buddy.)

So drive there now. Skip the sandwiches and go right for the dessert. And get it to go, our table was really sticky. Not pleasant.

Just a warning, my gramma said Strong Hearts is in a shady area and to be careful. I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, but I’m a bad-ass, so the riffraff probably saw me and ran away. Yup yup.

Cripes May 23, 2011

Posted by That girl in 2011.
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So much has changed since the last post. Not even half of it has been good, either.
Before I was at the end of my first month of P90X, today is actually the first day of my last month! In case you’re wondering, I honestly feel no different except for my bangin’ arms. If only my legs matched my arms. Hmph.
We’ve had some funerals, made some trips, I had a birthday, changed my hair color … See? Things have changed. You don’t even recognize us anymore, do you?

Honestly, the recipe I was going to post “tomorrow” (back in April) was completely forgotten with all this life stuff happening around me. But I’ve got something better, easier and sweeter.

Easy Squeezy Maple Almonds

what you need
2 cups almonds (I used non-raw almonds, but I think raw would work here too)
3 tbs maple syrup
dash salt

what to do
Preheat oven to 300 (I used the hand dandy toaster oven)
Line a baking sheet with parchment paper

Put the almonds in a bowl
In a separate small bowl, mix maple syrup and salt
Pour maple mixture on top of nuts
Stir
Dump nuts onto the parchment paper and cook for 4o minutes
Stir about halfway through, making sure the almonds aren’t sticking and burning

After 40 minutes, remove the sheet from the over and let it cool on a wire rack
The almonds are sticky right now, so if you want to get crazy, add a handful of sesame seeds or some spices … but stir quickly or it won’t work! (granted, you can also add these things before baking, but I prefer the pure mapley taste on at least half of these guys)
If you need more sweet or salty, now’s the time to add more syrup and salt, too. just don’t go crazy or they won’t harden when they cool.

When they’re cool, toss the nuts into a bowl and refrigerate

Mmmm.

Day 7 April 3, 2011

Posted by That girl in 2011.
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It’s been a full week of p90x-ing and I’m pretty sure I’m taking part in a fight club when I think I’m sleeping. I go to bed feeling tired and weak -but good- and I wake up with aches and pains. Once I even woke up with a broken arm! No, I didn’t. I’m a liar. Good thing for me that I’ve been working out steady for years. The pains I’m feeling don’t compare to the pain my ol’ bf is feeling. He hasn’t worked out this hard since he was in high school and boy is he hurting … and complaining about every minute of it.

While the workout hasn’t been a problem, the food still isn’t clicking with me yet. I can’t seem to eat the amount the X wants me to. So I’m scared … will it not work for me if I’m not getting all this food in? I’ve been working on some recipes to combine foods. I fed the bf 2 Quorn patties with dairy-free cheese on wheat english muffins for breakfast this morning. But since Quorn isn’t vegan, I just had the english muffins with peanut butter. :/ It’s tough!

Orange-Kissed Chocolate Chip Cookies

Even tougher was making my orange-kissed chocolate chip cookies for the bake sale for Japan. Since we’re doing p90X, I didn’t have any white sugar or chips. Then I made a batch of cookies I thought were too darned ugly, so now the bf has some healthy-ish cookies to eat as snacks. (They’re whole wheat!)
The new batch came out not as rustic-looking, so they’ve been photographed. Now I just need to pack them up and await the bake sale. I’ll keep you posted.

And if you have any ideas on getting this new way of eating to click, please let me know!

Guess What? March 29, 2011

Posted by That girl in 2011.
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Oh, who are we kidding, you’ll never guess.

Jane Fonda 80s

Due to some pants tightening all up in here, we have begun P90X. Oh yes, P90X, the workout from hell that you’ve seen on countless early-morning infomercials.
And today I almost died. It was rough for a while, but you know what? I made it, and I’ll be back again tomorrow for some more.

The problem is once I’m done working and working out, I’m not really in the mood to do anything but chill. But I have this strange desire to do something new, which I totally will. Hopefully this week. It’s going to be awesome.

I think I’m going to be participating in a virtual bake sale for Japan. Not totally sure how it’s going to shake down, but you bid on April 5th and I’ll send you my vegan delights. Yay!

The Anatomy of a Fail November 22, 2010

Posted by That girl in 2010, Vegan MoFo.
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So close and yet so very, very far away. I’ve got a good cookie that could be great with the right frosting. Yesterday I wasted far too much organic extract and coconut oil and still got nothing. Grr. I was able to salvage the frosting after just tossing any old thing into it. It doesn’t taste amazing or anything, plus I wouldn’t begin to know where to begin writing a recipe for it.

So instead I present you with my failure. In my signature drawings. Which I have perfected and patented.

Step 1
Step 1: Find the perfect recipe from the family archives. Thumbs up!
I can absolutely make this vegan. Do you think 1 cup of Earth Balance is equal to 1 cup of lard? I’m sure it is.

Step 2
Step 2: The recipe isn’t quite right.
Maybe my grandmother wrote it down wrong? Did I miss something? I’m going to power through, eat the mistake and try again. Tomorrow. You can never have enough giant biscuits.

Step 3
Step 3: This isn’t working.
I hate biscuits.

Step 4
Step 4: Check the recipe again. Try baking them again.
If I just sit down and think, I’ll get this. What am I doing wrong? Why can’t I make these stupid freaking biscuits?

Step 5
Step 5: I’ll get them right next time. Or I’ll give up and eat a pan of brownies.  I can’t mess up brownies.
Aaarrrg!


Speaking of brownies, I made the Eureka/Super Fudgy brownies again Saturday.  This time I broke up a bunch of Candy Cane Joe-Joe’s and put them on top.  Amazing.

 

The Perfect Brownies? Maybe. November 18, 2010

Posted by That girl in 2010, Vegan MoFo.
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After 3 failed attempts at making the cookies in my mind (which are delicious … also in my head), I’m taking a tiny break from the little bastards.  Now I’m on the hunt for the perfect thick, thick frosting that I can reformulate.  Then it’s on to my gramma’s recipe box.  I found the Christmas recipe I really want to remake and I almost died when I saw it called for a cup of Crisco.  My heart exploded just thinking about that.  Ug.

In other news, I may have found the most perfectest brownies in the whole world.  I’ve had many, many, many experiences with brownies.  Since I live with the Brownie King of South Dakota (no, he’s not from South Dakota, it just sounded good), I’ve spent far too much of my time looking for brownies that I actually want to eat.  I usually call dibs on the crunchy outsides (I literally cut off just the crunchy parts) and let S have the rest.  Not this time.  This time I ate the corner, then as I was depanning I tried another.  And another.  Oh, the amazement of finally finding a brownie I want to eat!

To create these beauties, I used both Wing-It Vegan’s brilliant original Eureka Brownies recipe and Not a Rabbit’s amazing Super Fudgy Brownie recipe.  Basically, I followed Wing-It’s recipe, but used Rabbit’s chocolate measurements.  And, of course, I made a few tiny changes of my own, too. I decreased the sugar to 1/2 cup, added 1 tsp more milk, and 2 more tablespoons of cocoa powder.

So if you want to join me in chocolatey brownie bliss, make these now.

I’ll add a picture when the dumb camera battery is done charging.  Grr.

Quick and easy November 16, 2010

Posted by That girl in 2010, Vegan MoFo.
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No, not me.  How rude! I’m talkin’ quick and easy – and delicious – vegan treats.

Like what, you ask? How about chocolate mousse with that extra avocado you have lying around?
I had that tonight, actually.

avocados

I don’t measure well, so you might want to adjust to your tastes.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Avocado Mousse
1 avocado
1 T peanut butter
1 T agave
2 T cocoa powder (you can also use melted chocolate chips. I’d go with a handful or two … just keep it to less than 1/4 c worth. Probably an 1/8 c would be best)
tiny sprinkle salt
2 tsp oil (I use coconut)
1-2 T almond milk

Throw it all in your Magic Bullet and blend. Taste, curse me and add more of whatever it is you’re missing. I might even double the peanut butter, the chocolate and the oil … but that’s just me. I tend to cook by taste. :/

And while we’re here, how about a word about the Magic Bullet? It’s both a blessing and a curse. I love that I can grab it and whizz up something quickly without having to get my blender out, but inevitably, within a few minutes I’m bitching about the damned thing. It doesn’t mix evenly. Doesn’t completely chop anything. It leaks. It just irritates the heck out of me. But I still use it every morning.

 

Non-vegan news: Happy birthday Martha Plimpton!!

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